


Five Times the Team Was Forced to Cuddle (And One Time It Was Just For Funsies)

by ThroughTheTulips



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, M/M, just some good old american cuddle porn, so much cuddling, there are ships here but it's not the focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 21:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5981200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThroughTheTulips/pseuds/ThroughTheTulips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Are you looking for some increasingly ridiculous scenarios where the team engages in some warm, fluffy, platonic snuggle times? This is that fic. You're welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times the Team Was Forced to Cuddle (And One Time It Was Just For Funsies)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Silent_Q](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Silent_Q/gifts).



There wasn’t a lot that could poison Captain America. He couldn’t get sick. Alcohol was like water to him. He’d walked through a small nuclear blast once with only second degree burns. The Villain of the Week had found something, though, some weirdly glowing blue stuff that left Steve limp and unresponsive when she’d shot him with a dart of it.

She should’ve looked closer at the unassuming friend beside him, Tony mused as he watched the Hulk smear sticky red scientist across the road. By the time he’d flown Black Widow to answer the alarm there was nothing left of the Hydra team except a rolled up ball of bloody assault van. Pity they wouldn’t have a chance to question anyone. “Is the Cap okay?”

Natasha bent to check Steve’s pulse. “He’s alive,” she reported. “More than that I don’t know. Can you get him back to the Tower? I’ll keep an eye on the Big Guy until he calms down.”

“No problemo.” Tony closed his mask and gathered Steve into his arms. “Want me to send one of the spare suits over to help?”

“Just for a ride. He’s almost done anyway.”

They’d done this before, left Natasha to take care of Bruce after a Hulk-out. He seemed to respond fastest to her or Steve, and if something else ticked him off she could coax him to the harbor. Tony felt all right about turning his focus on the still-unconscious captain. He went straight to his lab, calling for Jarvis as he set the body on a steel table. “I’m gonna need a full bodyscan and diagnostic. We need to find out what he was given and how to- whoa, throttle back, Cap.”

Steve had jerked awake the second Jarvis began drawing blood. He launched himself off the bed, landing in a combat stance. His face looked pale and sweaty and completely without recognition. He took an aggressive step towards Tony, who was stuck partway out of his armor. The scientist scrambled backwards out of his boots. “Hey, friend over here. Very squishable non-healing friend who’s trying to save your life, so if you could just-”

One punch had him flying backwards into the wall. His chest piece took most of the impact, though he was pretty sure there would be bruises. “Jarvis! Code Green all Avengers, right here.” Code Green meant a team member out of control. He’d chosen the color to poke at Banner, one of the two Avengers they’d used it for so far.

The other one came hurtling through the door before Tony finished speaking.

Steve must have been off his game. Barnes had him face down in less than a minute, pinning his torso to the floor while the metal arm held his neck. The captain kicked and thrashed while a guttural noise vibrated in his throat. Barnes threw Tony an impatient glare (more of a mildly annoyed eyebrow tilt, but Tony was learning to read the former assassin). “Get his legs.”

“He’ll kick me off in two seconds.”

“Get one of them,” Clint suggested as he dropped from the ceiling. “I’ve got the other.”

Between the three of them they held Steve down long enough for Jarvis to finish drawing blood. It was a near thing; he fought hard the whole time. If he’d been coherent enough to use martial arts they couldn’t have managed it at all. “I sure hope this is temporary,” Clint grumbled. “Otherwise we’ll have to move him to the Green Room.”

“I wish you’d name that something else,” Banner said, walking around the pile of wrestling Avengers to look at the computer screen. He had a clean shirt on over half-shredded pants. “Name it after Lt. Barnes, he’s used it four times.”

“Three.” Barnes did something with his hips that gave him a better hold. “Once I was just taking a nap. I hit the lockdown button so you’d leave me alone.”

Impressed, Tony looked up to grin and almost lost control of Steve’s leg. “Okay, ow. One of us here doesn’t actually have super strength. What do you say, Bruce, want to switch places?”

Banner kept squinting at the screen. “If Agent Barton can do it, you can.”

“Not true. Agent Barton can do a lot of things I can’t.”

“I’m remembering that for later.” Clint shifted to hook one leg around Tony’s. The move linked them together, giving them the leverage needed for a solid pin. “Right now I’m worried about what happens next. Is there an antidote or do we start bashing him in the head?”

Barnes’ head snapped up, eyes narrowing. “No.”

“Cerebral realignment. It worked on me, easy as-”

“No.”

Going against Barnes when he dug in like this hadn’t historically worked out for anybody. That went double when it was Steve he was protecting. Tony blew out a breath, exasperated and worried. “So what? We just lay here on top of him? He’s too strong.”

“This should wear off in a couple of hours. If we all pile on he won’t be able to break free.” Banner rubbed his eyes, then began unbuttoning his shirt. “All of us. Natasha? I’m gonna need you to control the Other Guy again.”

“Easy.” She stepped out from nowhere in particular. “He likes me. Do you need help powering up?”

He took a long look at Steve’s face, twisted with pain and anger. “Not really.”

 

The addition of the Hulk made all the difference. Once he curled around the impromptu puppy pile and draped a massive arm over top, Steve gave up entirely. He twitched every now and then, but the slightest growl stopped him. It stopped everything; this close, any noise vibrated through everyone like a miniature earthquake. He seemed to be doing a lot of it, too. Every time Natasha stroked his hair or spoke in low Russian he let out an oddly contented little rumble.

It was astoundingly cute.

Tony had to bury his face in Clint’s shoulder to keep from snickering, unsure how the Hulk would take it. The archer nudged him. “Not on the first date, Stark. Get it together.”

“I can’t,” he moaned. “It’s too much. He’s _cuddling._ ”

“He’s restraining.” Natasha said reprovingly. “There’s a difference.”

Clint snorted. “For most of us, anyway. Not sure what Stark gets up to.”

“If you’re trying to embarrass me you’ll have to go a lot farther than that. I’m not ashamed of my adventures.” He waggled his eyebrows. “My many, many adventures. I’ll even tell you bedtime stories if you want.”

“What I want,” Barnes said, voice muffled against Steve’s hair, “is for all of you to lie here quietly so we can hear when he wakes up.”

That made sense. Tony gave it his best shot for a solid ten minutes before Barton poked him. “Stop fidgeting.”

“I have literally never been this still in my life. That includes sleeping, drunken stupors, post torture sessions, and Potts family dinners. Can’t the Hulk sit on him alone?”

“He’ll start fighting again if we get up to adjust,” Barnes snapped. “He could hurt himself.”

For the love of… “You know he’s a grown man, right? A big, overgrown man? He doesn’t need your Mother Hen routine.” Somehow, without anyone else moving, something jabbed Tony right in the kidney. He yelped. “Okay, that better be a foot or I will have Jarvis spray us all down with freeze foam.”

Natasha lifted her head from the Hulk’s shoulder. “Freeze foam?”

“Yeah, it’s what I use when there’s an out of control bot in the lab. It basically turns the whole room into a block of restrictive fo…” Tony trailed off, feeling stupid. “Okay, in my defense, that stuff is really, really uncomfortable for squishy humans. Plus it smells like wet gym socks.”

Everyone groaned, a chorus of noise that made the Hulk startle awake. “He was frozen in ice for seventy years,” Clint snapped. “He could handle two hours of stink, and my whole damned leg is asleep.”

“All right, I’m sorry, just- hey Jarvis, get Dummy over here with the foam, would you?” The bot trundled over and opened a spray port. Tony braced a hand under himself, checking to see where everyone had ended up. “Ten seconds, Jarvis. On my mark everyone roll towards the door. Three, two, o-”

“Why is everyone sitting on me?”

The weak voice distracted Tony from his count- but not Jarvis. Pale orange foam sprayed from two walls and Dummy’s nozzle, encasing the team in a little domed pocket. Within moments the spongy mass filled the lab. Outside noise cut off, muffled by the foam. Hulk whuffed, surprised, then began clawing at the resilient barrier while Natasha tried to focus him in one direction. Tony just lay back to wait it out.

He was right. It did smell like socks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank Robin. Unless you didn't like this, then it's totes my fault.


End file.
